A Raven's Chill
by Tormentor488
Summary: I'm just going to get this out of the way: Raven is going to be abusive to Beast Boy. It's hugely out of character. But that's the point. This is nothing more than an experiment to see how believable I can make this and see where it leads. Let's find out together.
1. Chapter 1

_I wonder how it got to this point..._ Beast Boy thought to himself with a thousand-yard stare. He wasn't looking at Raven as much as he was through her. She was scolding him again. Not yelling. She usually didn't.

It hurt him all the same.

"You weren't very well behaved today, Garfield." Her voice was a low rasp. She always opted to do this in the dead of night. When no one was around to see it happen.

"Um, yeah... I guess not."

"Speak properly," she warned. He could feel the threat of her psychic power tighten on his wrists.

"I'm sorry, Raven. I wasn't."

"You weren't what?" She pressed, taking a perverse pleasure in his discomfort.

"I wasn't well-behaved."

"Good boy..." He could feel the threat of her psychic fingers on his wrists ease up. And just before he could sigh in relief, all at once the hot fire was twisting his skin.

"Rave-"

"Shhh. Don't scream. If you scream, I'll only make it worse." Her voice was eerily gentle.

For a moment, she eased her psychic grip before torquing his skin farther. Threatening to split it through twisting it alone.

The worst of it was always her expression. Almost bored. Almost offering pity. Almost doing everything, but offering nothing at all.

"Nnnnngh..." Beast Boy whimpered quietly. Doing all in his power to resist creating a commotion and waking the entire tower. Both out of fear of what she might do, and even more sadly, he didn't want her to get caught.

"The best medicine is bitter." Raven ran a gentle hand through his hair. Stroking it it as lovingly as a mother to a newborn child. It was a stark sensation against the fire in his wrists.

"Say you'll be good, Garfield."

"... Good..."

"Say it," she spit impatiently into the naked darkness of her room.

"I'll be good, Raven." It was choked out in an anguished whisper. Satisfied with his misery, she released her grip on him. It both amused and pained her to watch him rub the damaged flesh. There was the same odd mix of emotion every time she saw the sadness in his eyes.

"Gar..." She reached for his wrists, to which he flinched. Remembering who he was dealing with, he slackened his arms.

"You know I'm trying to help you..." She offered soothingly. Before he could say a word, her hands began to glow. It was that warm purple light. Her healing power. The feeling of the energy mending his wrists was nigh-orgasmic. Sickeningly, he thought maybe this was part of why he allowed the abuse to continue.

He'd grown to like it. He hated it too. But the pleasure remained regardless. Some sick part of his mind was begging for more "correction" every time she did it. Every time she bruised or cut him, every slap and pinch and pull... It felt deserved. Even worse, he felt compassion behind it.

His love knocks.

"If someone else hurt you, they couldn't heal you like I can, Gar..." She was going into one of her defensive rants again. He wasn't sure anymore if she was trying to convince him or herself of the "good" her "punishments" did.

"And that's just one reason. One reason why it's different. It's not meaningless. And that's the main reason. I'm trying to straighten you out. I'm trying to help you. But you need a certain kind of help. Understand?" The heat of her healing was putting his head in a tizzy. It was almost impossible to focus on anything being said when you could feel wounds regenerating in seconds. Even so, he agreed.

"Yes, Raven..."

"So, what did we learn?" Raven's voice was flat but patronizing.

"I won't talk back to you." Beast Boy whispered sheepishly.

"And?"

"Oh. And... I won't..." He struggled to conjure up the other reason for his punishment.

"You won't ogle women on TV."

"Right. I won't... ogle women on TV." This one he found difficult to agree to, because he hadn't been in the first place. A cursory glance at a few girls in bikinis on TV was all it took to set her off. He was worried what that might mean for the future.

For the moment, this seemed to satisfy her. Raven's lip curled into an relaxed smile.

"You're doing better all the time, Gar..." Her slender hands traced his chest.

"Thank you..."

 _How did we get here?_

"I love you," she said cheerily.

"I love you too." A trace of fear. And an ache in his wrists.


	2. Chapter 2

Beast Boy wasn't sure he'd _ever_ mentioned the heart-shaped box he made for Terra to Raven. To his annoyance, fear, and astonishment, Raven managed to figure out just what it was, and who it had been for. Even having found it well after Terra's absence.

"Well," Raven rasped. The box sat between them on her bed. As if a piece of incriminating evidence in an interrogation.

Truthfully, it was.

"I made it for- I... It was for you." Beast Boy fumbled on his words. He did his best to maintain eye contact, but it was futile. He already could feel the condemnation in her icy stare. The interrogation was merely a formality. A sick foreplay as she best considered how to "punish" him this time.

Raven said nothing. Instead, she continued to size him up with a predatory stare. It was eerily clinical. Devoid of any trace of emotion.

"It was a long time ago... Can't you forgive me if it was before I knew we-"

"You said you "always knew" we'd be together." No emotion in her voice. An accusatory truth. He had said that at some point, but it eluded him as to when.

"So," she went on, tracing a finger along the box's contours. "You didn't "always know", did you?"

"Well..." Beast Boy squirmed. And that was the only thing that seemed to please her anymore. The faintest curl of her lip.

"Because you were thinking of her. I bet you still do."

"That's not true. Raven, it's just us now, you and me. No one else."

"Why do you hold onto this, then?"

"It's... It's just complicated. At one time... Why does it have to matter? I already told you. She doesn't matter anymore."

An exasperated sigh from the demon girl. "Garfield, Garfield... How _long_ must you _insist_ on trying to deceive me? All to escape your punishment, right? If you'd ever once stop thinking about how only _you_ feel, you'd understand why it's necessary."

"I don't see how punishing me for loving someone in the past helps us," he muttered quietly.

"That's exactly why you need to be corrected."

"If what you're doing isn't wrong, why not let the others know about it?"

"You want the others to know? Go tell them yourself. Who do you think they're more likely to side with?" She was grinning now. A sinister, gleaming grin. "The male or the female? Who's to say _you're_ not mistreating me, Gar?" An eerie chill ran through Beast Boy's spine. Everything about her behavior lately had been spiraling downward. The more he challenged her, the more her depravity grew.

"You wouldn't... You wouldn't do that to me."

""Robin, Cyborg, Starfire..."" She whispered in a mock-scream, as if playfully teasing Beast Boy. ""Help. Help, Beast Boy's hurting me."" The glee left her voice and expression. "That's all it'd take. One misstep and I have the power to ruin your entire life."

"Raven, what is _happening_ to you?" He couldn't resist trembling, genuinely afraid of what she was saying. Even if it was a bluff, it was going too far.

"Commit that to memory. If you _ever_ get out of line, if you _ever_ push me too far, well. A few words for me, a jail sentence for you. Nobody finds out. If you think I'm wrong, I'll condition that out of you too."

"Raven, please. PLEASE just calm down. Listen to what you're saying. Really think about it. What's going on here? Why are you doing this to me?" Beast Boy pleaded, desperate for answers. The relationship was quickly devolving into a captive situation for him. True, she'd been growing increasingly abusive, but it was beginning to take on a more sinister form.

"Don't try to turn this back around on me. You know what's at stake now. Use that knowledge to moderate your behavior. Answer to me. Don't lie. Do as I say. Understand?"

"I _do._ I _already do_." Beast Boy pleaded further, desperate to reach her heart. If it was still there.

Wrong move. It didn't reach her piercing glare.

"You have one final chance. Swear, or face the consequences."

"I... Raven. If that's what... If that's what it takes to make you happy-"

"Yes." She interjected curtly. It startled him.

"Okay... I swear."

For a moment, she was pleased.


	3. Chapter 3

When he was alone, an exceedingly rare thing as time went on, Beast Boy reflected. Often, back to when this all began. There was a time Raven's abuses where sparse. In fact so rare, he wasn't sure there were abuses at all. He wished he had read the signs back then. But, typically, he blamed himself for everything.

They had just arrived home from the pier. The evening was a rousing success. An early outing in their maturing relationship. They'd been dating maybe a month at the time. Though their feelings were evident long before the dating began.

Raven was hugging a stuffed animal Beast Boy had won for her. She was laughing. Genuinely laughing at any stupid joke he cracked. It was refreshing, he remembers, in contrast to her typical deadpan. Things were headed in the right direction. Desperately, he hoped maybe he'd just found himself in another rut again. Maybe he just had to warm Raven up like he had the first time.

As warm as she was those first few months.

"I had a lot of fun, Gar..." His heart leapt every time she used his new pet name. It was so tender on her low rasp of a voice. Handling it as if it were glass.

"I did too, Rae..." In his rumination of these events, he realized he no longer called her by her own pet name anymore. He wondered if it was from fear, or the distance that was growing between them.

She was still smiling, but he could sense something behind it. In her eyes. In the way she hugged the stuffed animal on the walk to her room. Before he could address it himself, she piped up.

"I believe you... But you seemed kind of distracted." She wasn't wrong. And it made Beast Boy feel guilty she noticed. It was supposed to be a night for himself and Raven. He didn't intend to bring along a third person, but he had.

"I did have a lot of fun. I want to do it again, too," he reassured her. "It's just... It brings back some old memories."

"Terra?" Again, he remembers she didn't sound angry. Not bitter, or abusive. She didn't phrase questions as statements or insults. Just the faintest hint of sadness. Disappointment. It hurt him to admit to it, but he wanted to be honest and open with her. Back before he was afraid to be.

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "It's still just... Fresh, you know."

"Yeah." Raven was kneading some of the stuffed animal's hair between her fingers. "I understand. Really, I do..."

"Please don't be upset about it, Rae." Beast Boy traced a hand along her arm. "You know it's all in the past now."

"For how long?" Raven whispered. Her eyes were fixed on the floor, as if afraid to look at him. As if afraid to hear an answer.

"What?"

"If she... came back- never mind. I don't want to spoil the evening we had." She exhaled and faked a beaming smile. Her eyes once more betrayed it. He knew it wasn't over, and she was as bothered as he was by the ghost of Terra. Perhaps even more. He could deal with being haunted himself, but the last thing he wanted was for Raven to share in his suffering.

"Raven, even if she came back. You and me. Okay?"

"I want to believe you... It's just insecurity. I guess. When you're the black sheep. When everyone in your life, at one point or another, has left or mistreated you. Everyone but you and this team. So, of course I'm afraid of losing this..."

"Raven..." Beast Boy's guilt was compounded by her confession.

"You might hate me for this, but... Terra, when she betrayed us, part of me... I'm sorry, but part of me was relieved. I didn't want you to be unhappy. I'm sorry she hurt you. Because her betrayal hurt me too. But... I didn't want you two to continue the way you were going."

Beast Boy was stunned. Somewhere, maybe even hurt and offended by what she was saying. It was such a complex amalgamation of conflicting emotions, he didn't know where to begin. Or if he could at all.

"I have no idea what to say."

"But you're glad she's gone, right?" Her tone was level, but pleading. Almost deranged. Just hinged enough to make him wonder if he was the crazy one.

"Raven, I don't want to talk about this anymore." It wasn't as simple as being happy Terra was gone. Truthfully, he wasn't. He still favored Raven over her. But he hated being made to choose and weigh his feelings for them both. It felt wrong.

"I could live with knowing you still think about her," she admitted quietly. "I just wish you wouldn't save a spot for her in your heart."

"Raven, it's not like that."

"It _feels_ like it." Her eyes were glassy. She still wouldn't look at him.

"Raven..." Both of his hands were on her shoulders, prompting her to look directly at him. "Yeah, there are still some wounds. But you're healing them. Every day, you're healing them. The time we spend together... I wouldn't trade it for anything." Her cheeks flared red below her misty eyes. She offered the biggest smile she could muster against the inner turmoil.

For a while, she was pleased.


	4. Chapter 4

She wasn't always cruel. And maybe that was the worst of it. Hating someone was easy, if they never offered any compassion, or at least a reason for their cruelty. Malice is easy to return with malice.

Raven could be doting, if her mood was especially high. She could be thoughtful and genuine. Her intelligence and profound empathy allowed her to ease his greatest pains. When she wasn't the one inflicting them herself.

Perhaps that was the greatest torture of all. The flashes of love between the bleeding.

"You picked a good movie, Gar." Raven remarked in a low whisper. They were watching a comedy on Netflix. In truth, Beast Boy barely paid attention to it. Having still been shaken from her threat just the previous night. He knew he still loved her, but how far did love run? Should it withstand the threat of a ruined life? A potential prison sentence? How could he leave her if he wanted to?

Even worse, despite all of it, he wasn't sure he did want to leave at all.

"Thanks, Rae..." He consciously made an effort to use her pet name. This seemed to satisfy her, as her slender hands trace his shoulders. He sat on the ground just in front of her. She was seated on the couch. Wordlessly, she massaged his shoulders as she sometimes used to do. Before the abuse had become more regular. He hoped maybe it was a sign of things to come. As if, just possibly, the mistreatment was a spell of bad weather. And the clouds were finally dispersing.

"Relax, honey..." She offered soothingly. Even with the lingering fear of the previous night, even against the haunting image of her threatening him, even behind the aches in his wrists, that was all it took. He did relax, resigning himself to her wandering hands. He propped his head back, just between her thighs on the couch cushion.

The sound of the TV faded into a monotone haze while her hands roamed his chest. It was like going into a trance, and she was astonishingly good at it. The slightest electrical prickles. Her hands emitted a low, pleasing energy. Arousing his flesh. Teasing it with light stabs of pain.

"So full of pain, Gar..." His goddess sang from above. "I'm here to make you all better..."

Her legs were draped over his shoulders, and he took full advantage of that. Running his hands along her smooth, pale calves. They'd hand an understanding for quite some time now that Beast Boy admired Raven's legs. And she'd grown comfortable with him worshipping them.

Raven craned her upper body, positioning herself just above Beast Boy's head. Even with his eyes closed, he could feel her face inches from his. And the light tickling of her hair against his cheeks.

She could feel him tense. Even before her "punishments" began, he'd often get intimidated by her. Sometimes too fearful to embrace or kiss her. This was nothing unusual.

"Shhh... You're okay, baby."

He couldn't fight the smile. "You don't call me "baby" often..."

"Maybe I'll do it more often, baby..." She chuckled quietly. Her breath was warm and intoxicating against his skin. Mixed with her scent. He was constantly asking her what she washed with. Other scents she'd wear. Perfumes. It was always changing. Not that she spent exorbitant amounts of money on vanity items.

"Can things stay this way?" He blurted out the question without thinking. Because he knew if he lingered on it, he'd never build the courage to ask. It had to be directly from the heart. In this moment of vulnerability, he might reach her.

Eyes still closed, he felt her hands tense up, as if taken aback. Her fingers trembled just a moment on his chest, then slackened.

"Gar... I'm sorry."

"Then can't we just move past it? Can it be over now?"

"How could I ever be forgiven?" Her voice shook with each word.

"I could forgive all of it... All of it, Raven. If you'd just say you won't do it anymore."

"I'm so sorry, Garfield." A hot cut on his cheek. He didn't need to open his eyes to know she was crying. And despite everything she'd done to him up until this point, he was still the one who felt guilty.


	5. Chapter 5

Raven felt guilty. For the first time in months. It took a stab, albeit not malicious, from Beast Boy in a vulnerable moment. She felt she was at a crossroads. And she still hadn't decided what to do.

If she were to accept blame for what she'd done, she'd accept all the repressed feelings that came with it. Up until now she'd convinced herself, increasingly, that she was right. Therefore, there was no reason to feel guilt. The torture for her abuse against Beast Boy was unfounded. Selfishly, it allowed her to live with herself.

If she were to accept what she'd done, it would destroy her credibility. He would never look at her the same way again. He may even think less of her, if she admitted to her wrongs. He may consider her beneath him. That thought alone infuriated Raven.

What's more, she'd lose control. All the careful, calculated control she'd built in her favor. Roping in Beast Boy on a tight leash until he followed her orders. Keeping him guarded from threats. Threats like _her._ That safety would be relinquished if she complied.

Beast Boy was generous in allowing her time to decide. It was hardly an ultimatum. He was completely at her mercy. He said as much himself. He'd be true to her either way. And even so...

Continue to hold the leash? Until he's strangled? Until he's driven away? Risk driving him back to _her_? How far had he drifted from her already?

The very thought stole her breath. It made her panic and fear for what damage she'd already done. Could it be salvaged even if she wanted it to? Had she unwittingly doomed their relationship? Would she have to continue the abuse in order to hold onto him?

 _It wasn't ever malicious._ She bargained internally, as if to a jury. _Just so I could keep him close to me. It's not so unusual._

Silence.

 _I just didn't want to be hurt again. Abandoned. It's a constant cycle and a constant worry for me. I didn't hurt him without reason. If I kept him close... I know there are abusive people out there. I did go too far when I threatened him. But it was hollow. It doesn't make up for it. But it's not as bad as it seems._

 _Poor, poor Raven._ It was Terra's voice. Only in her mind. It wasn't an unusual occurrence, but it wasn't ever pleasant, either. _Doing everything in your power just to cling to scraps of Beast Boy. I'm not even there and he's still thinking about me._

But that was too toxic. It was best not to dwell. Best not to be haunted by ghosts. It was all in Raven's mind. Fears designed by her own brain.

 _He's with me. That's all that matters._ Against her better judgment, she engaged Terra. Hoping to have the final say.

 _But you never have the final say. I always win, Raven. I won when we fought, I won when I got him to love me first. You know how it ends, and you always did. You can defeat Trigon one hundred times over and the end result will be the same: You'll be alone. Broken and insane. You only prolonged your obvious fate._

 _Enough..._ There was no conviction in Raven's voice. Completely terrified of mind-Terra. And how she could dismantle her within seconds. It was a plea more than a command. But Terra was too vicious.

 _All your brooding and sarcasm drives everyone away. And then you got greedy._

 _Please._

 _You got ABUSIVE. No two ways about it. No matter how you dress it up. And now you're going to lose the only thing that you thought you could always rely on._

 _It was different. I know I was wrong. But it was different._

 _All because you fear me. I'm not even THERE, Raven. And I'm not even here now. You're so petrified that even the IDEA of me sends you into fits. So, wallow in it. I don't need to say anything._

And she didn't. For the remainder of that evening, at least, Raven was unhaunted by Terra. Her voice, if nothing else.

She wouldn't admit it, not even to herself, but Terra truly did make her cower these days. Terra always spurred on the panic attacks. The sweaty palms. Cotton mouth. Dry, heavy eyes. Because Raven knew it was true. Regardless of what Beast Boy said. Regardless of what anyone saw from an "objective" standpoint. She knew the ugly truth.

With a word, Terra could whisk him away. And more cruelly than that, she wasn't even sure Terra wanted to. It was one thing to hold the power, it was another to keep Raven suffering. Or worse still, to possess it in ignorance. An ability Raven would kill for, and that Terra herself may be too oblivious to know she had.

In the darkness, she considered her next move.


End file.
